The Voice Within

Everyone has a voice.

God intended us to use our voice to produce life and to be life.
There is great power and authority in our words.

So, how old were you when your voice was taken away? Damaged? Told it was insignificant?

Me? I was in elementary school.

Because of my life circumstances and the people around me,
I learned to just keep my opinions, thoughts, feelings, ideas, and words to myself.
That is why I started to express myself through writing. 
And with that, I took my voice, put in a box, and kept it locked away.

As I got older, there would be situations and people that would cause me to go back to that little girl state:

Where I feel paralyzed, anxious, and have no words to say.
There would be a disconnect between my voice and my heart because I would be unbearably overwhelmed with anxiety. 

But God is so good.

In this season, he pointed at that box and said, “It is time that comes out.”
Because the truth is, that was never meant to be in a box.
Damaged, broken, even dead? Humans and the enemy can do that to your voice.
But God says, “I can heal that. I can fix it. I can bring it back to life.”
Not almost as new, but as new and more.

So, with the help of therapy and the Spirit of God,
God has made me realized that
I am not a child anymore. I am an adult, a woman of God.
Not a helpless child who can’t make sense of her situation or not respond properly.

But a woman of God who is empowered by the Spirit of the Almighty God.
A person of God who is greatly loved. A woman who is wonderfully, fearfully made.

I don’t deny, ignore, or belittle my past.
But who I am is not defined by my past, but by the God who created me.
Because He looks at me with a smile and says, ” If I am for you, who can be against you?”

“haha no one God. No one can be against you.”

So, God has been providing opportunities for me to “exercise this muscle”
And one conversation after another, one confrontation after another
Every time I feel my anxiety rising, I turn to him for some help and guidance.
He gives me the strength to get back up every time.

So now, every time I hear myself say, “it’s not a big deal. Don’t speak up.”
I also hear, “Your voice is a big deal. Trust me and stand up my child.”

And with that,

I began to hear my voice once again.

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