Have you ever wondered
If there was more to life than this?
You may be asking what is “this”.
“This” is your life right now at this very moment.
I started to ask myself this after I got ordained.
And I couldn’t seem to shake it off. Still can’t.
So one day, I stopped and prayed,
“is this it? Is this all that God had planned and desired for my life?”
Now, don’t get me wrong.
At that moment, I believed I was beyond blessed.
And I still do.
I had everything I ever wanted or dreamed.
But at least for me, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more.
Not only in my calling in ministry but also in who God is.
That it seemed liked Jesus Christ didn’t die on the cross just so I could live a good, comfortable, stable life. Get a good job, get married, have kids, retire, boom dead. To simply just exist.
That there has to be more. More to what God desired. More to how much God wants to show me. More to what God wants to do in me and through.
More also in the sense as in “wider”, “bigger”.
More to ministry that I knew, more to his kingdom and power.
I am not expecting that each day of my life would be
a “splitting of the Red Sea” kind of day.
But each day shouldn’t pass us as “just another day”
as if this was all that there is.
I guess… what I am starting to desire more of is
to experience the Spirit and love of God everyday.
To witness His power and movement everyday.
God didn’t create us to just live.
He created us to live in purpose.
So what is that purpose?
What is God’s purpose for me?
I guess that’s the million dollar question for all of us.
At least for me, something I’ve come to realize is this:
1. It is bigger than I can ever imagine but narrower than I can understand.
Because what if God’s purpose for you was not a specific career, a specific something where if you aren’t doing that, you are just not in purpose.
but the purpose is to do life with him and for him.
Bigger than what we imagine like a specific career path.
But narrower than we can understand because living a life with God and for God is not an easy path.
I think that’s where I am.
I declared this for 2019 and I am declaring it again for 2020…
For the New Year, I want to live faithfully seeking God.
I want to live with God and for God.
I want to live life to the fullest, being intentional each day.
I want to grow stronger, deeper.
I want to meet God everyday, experience him everyday,
know him a little more than I did before.
Seek him with all my questions and wondering,
knowing that there is no end to the mysteries and truths of God.
And watch as God blessed me so that I will be blessing to his people,
To be a vessel for His kingdom.
Julia Anne Kim 