The past three months now, I feel like it’s been a season of vision.
Where I stop and seek the Lord for direction and word.
It is where I intentionally stop and wonder.

This year is like the previous years where I am excited but anxious to see what is to come.
Lord, where will you take me? Who will I meet? What obstacles and blessings are to come?

But this year is different as well.
At the same time,
I only desire for one thing this year:

For God’s people to experience and witness the living God again.
In an undeniable, tangible way.

That he truly is the Lord of all.
That is his word is true. His promises still stand.
That He is God of the universe
He is a personal God who sees you and loves you, not from afar but so intimately.

After I left pastoral ministry, I asked myself, “what’s next?”
People have repeatedly told me that I am entering the real world now.
And in the beginning, I felt like I was starting at ground zero.
Left with nothing and unequipped.
Immediately faced with my demons and insecurities
My weakness and failings were greater than my strengths.

But now, almost two years of being in “the real world”,
I realized it is in the real world where I have become desperate for the Lord again.
Believing in the impossible.
Praying boldly and humbly.

It is in the real world where I have seen signs and wonder.
Secret prayers answered publicly
Where I have come to seek him genuinely and worship him wholeheartedly.
Where my faith has been tested to great lengths
and his word is now the only thing I hold onto

So take me further and deeper Lord.
Test me in my weakness and challenge my understanding.
Let your word anchor me.
Show me your promises.
Let my faith stand guarded like a shield
And my prayers be as powerful like Elijah’s.
And let my heart grow deeper for your people

“so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other.”
1 Kings 8:60

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