A GROWING VILLAGE

This post might be longer than my usual posts.
Because I think it is time to revisit a topic I haven’t processed in a long time.

If I had to describe my family to someone, I would say…
My family is like a village that has been through many battles.
The remnants of those battles are still present but there is evidence of new life everywhere.
I see where we came from, amazed and humbled by where we are now, and still hopeful for what will become of this family.

But something that has been taught to my brother and I ever since we were young was to
keep people at a distance from our family. Which has caused us sometimes to be a village that is completely isolated.
And I have realized recently that this might be something that we are doing to our significant others… keeping them at a distance.
We protect them from our family because… we have seen first hand the pain and hurt that we as a family can cause towards others.
We protect because we think others won’t understand. Won’t accept. they will judge and leave.
We protect because we don’t want people to get hurt.
It is one thing if the immediate family members get hurt by each other. I tell you, it is another to watch your family hurt those around you.

So to this day, Daniel and I act like a giant wall that stands between our family and our own world.

I am still learning. I don’t have an answer. Seems like the rest of the world has an answer for us.
But as I am sitting here, I think maybe half of the answer is time. The other half is trust.

Time needed to build a relationship. Time needed to understand the person for who they are. And Time needed to learn to love one another.
and Trust that this time will be different. To trust that we can be a village that is full of life and a village that is beyond just the four of us.

I don’t think Daniel and I will ever stop being protective towards our significant others and individual families.
But after today, I am more hopeful.

I see the fingerprints of God all over this family. I see our little village growing slowly and organically.
I see the dream that I had when I was young, of a big family where everyone is hanging out and enjoying each others’ presence,
become a reality as the four of us are learning to enjoy and cherish one another first.

I see my parents have changed as they have aged. They are now in a season in their lives where they can slowly stop the grind and enjoy life for themselves once again. To finally reap what they have sown.

I see that Daniel and I have grown up a lot. Two kids who were solely focused on their own career and ambitions now find great joy and comfort being home and giving back to our parents as they have given to us first. To finally be the son and daughter who will care for our parents and carry the legacy set by them to our future kids.

We still have a long way to go. But like I said, I am hopeful and for the first time in a long time…
I am eagerly wait for what is to come.
With expectation knowing that it is only going to get better from here.